What she said: People.

What I heard: Pizza.

What she then said: Pizza? What Pizza?

Me: You said Pizza.

Her: No, I said People.

Me: Haha, Pizza people. People who are made of Pizza…or pizzas who are made of people…

Her : People who are made of Pizza.

***

What We Came up With.

***

The PizzaPeople used to live in a magical place called PizzaLand; where the dirt is made out of pizzacrust, and the grass is made out of cheese, and the houses of mushrooms, where rivers run with pizzasauce…

But then…an evil, evil Pizzaman wanted to change all the pizza…into..*insert dramatic pause*…Lasagne. OH THE HORROR! So, the few surving pizzas got into their pizzaboats and dispersed around the world.  Now, many years later, the pizzas must live in secret and once a year, they meet for pilgrimage at a place called Pizza Island.

Originally, Pizzas were made only of cheese, but some Pizzas began adding vegetables…and the Pizza Mullahs, well, they didn’t like this. They said Pizza’s must have only traditional toppings such as cheese and tomato paste, and anyone who broke this law would have his pizzasauce…sucked out…with a vaccum cleaner, the ultimate method of torture.

So for many years pizzas lived in fear, not daring to ever add even a little variety to their bland toppings…untill, Pizza Guevera decided to do something about it.

Pizza Guevera said, we can do something about this! We don’t have to take this! We can fight it! FIGHT THE POWER, DOWN WITH THE MAN!

“I think his cheese is sliding off his crust!”

“Is he insane?!”

“He better kiss his sorry sauce goodbyeee, mmhmm!”

But eventually…PizzaGuevera (or PG) began to attract followers, and soon, all the PizzaMullahs were killed in a massacre I can’t even begin to describe…But each and every drop of pizzasauce spilled was worth it, and went towards the greater good.

Soon, PG and his followers were victorious and pizzas were finally free to use any topping they liked, be it anchovies or prunes! And they all lived happily ever after. =)

“You really wanna know how we can all get so excited by this, the one line Billie Joe sings, or the two chords that ring for over a minute? It’s passion. Passion for the music, passion for the greatest rock band in the world, passion for the lyrics, passion for the one-minute-and-twenty-three-second teaser, because although it is a minute piece of the pie, it is so very satisfying and fulfilling. You can’t help the way something makes you feel, even if that something is very small. Does that make me one of those “closed-minded, swallow-everything-Green-Day-throws-at-me-whole-with-a-smile-on-my-face” fans? All I know is that that little bit of music that was thrown our way last week gave me back a little bit of that AI feeling, and good God, that is one of the best feelings in the world. I cannot wait to feel the rest of 21st Century Breakdown. “  — From The Waiting Is Over(http://www.greendayauthority.com/editorials/article.php?id=5)  by Cheryl of The GDA.

This is the single most amazing and truest thing I’ve read all month.

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkQ9p_TJXfI&feature=channel]

= D

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.

Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing

Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.

Step 4: For those who are guessing — looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!

Step 5: If you like the game post your own!

1. In the days when we were swingin’ from the trees I was a monkey stealing honey from a swarm of bees…

2.You don’t know how you met me you don’t know why can’t turn around and say goodbye…

3. Am I more than you bargained for, yet? I’ve been dying to tell you anything you wanna hear, cause that’s just who i am this week

4. I get really sick and tired of boys up in my face, pick up lines like “what’s your sign?” won’t get you any place.

5.There was a time when I was so brokenhearted, love wasn’t much of a friend of mine .

6. Take away the sensation inside, bittersweet migraine in my head…

7.It’s gettin late I haven’t seen my date, so tell me where the boys get it

8. We’re on our own cousin, all alone, cousin

9. All we are saying is give peace a chance…

10. Come with me let’s go for a ride, follow me onto the other side

11. Haushinka is a girl with a peculiar name, met her on the eve of my birthday

12.I kicked the shelf at the junkpile, one big crash

13. When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be

14. Yeaahh! Gotta leave town, got another appointment

15. Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream

16. I’m lyin here on the floor where you left me, I think I took too much

17. Five hundred, twenty five thousand, six hundred minutes

18.I went back to my doctor to get another shrink

19. The faster we’re falling we’re stopping and stalling, we’re running in circles again

20. wams falloutboy

21. You’re a part time lover and a full time friend, the monkey on your back is the latest trend

22. You think your’e in love like it’s a real sure thing, but everytime you fall you get yo’ ass in a sling

23. Darken the city night is a wire, steam in the subway, earth is afire

24. Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won’t find out but i know you were the last good thing about this part of town

25.  Backstroke lover always hidin’  ‘neath the covers til I talk to you daddy he say, ‘ you ain’t seen nothing til you’re down on your muffin then you’re sure to be a’changing your ways’

bakht zameen. says (6:31 PM):
BUT MISS FIKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe
Laila says (6:31 PM):
BUT MISS SOARES
bakht zameen. says (6:31 PM):
I DONT WANT TO LEAVE HER
Laila says (6:31 PM):
SHE IS THE BEST
bakht zameen. says (6:31 PM):
SHES THE ONLY THING ILL MISS ABOUT THIS SCHOOL
Laila says (6:31 PM):
Whataboutmee?
bakht zameen. says (6:31 PM):
APART FROM THE BUILDING
Laila says (6:31 PM):
=(
Laila says (6:31 PM):
and ME!!
bakht zameen. says (6:31 PM):
OH YES AND MISS SOARES
Laila says (6:32 PM):
and me!
bakht zameen. says (6:32 PM):
I DONT ASSOciATE YOU WITh thIS SCHOOL
bakht zameen. says (6:32 PM):
YOURE JUST LAILA
Laila says (6:32 PM):
heh?
Laila says (6:32 PM):
explain pliss
Laila says (6:32 PM):
the only place i see you is school
Laila says (6:32 PM):
fool
bakht zameen. says (6:32 PM):
but still
Laila says (6:32 PM):
i rhyme , yo (H)
bakht zameen. says (6:32 PM):
i associate you with adp more
Laila says (6:32 PM):
WHAT?
Laila says (6:33 PM):
=/
Laila says (6:33 PM):
so if adp breaks up
bakht zameen. says (6:33 PM):
erm
Laila says (6:33 PM):
you’ll be like…’*expletive*, man…I really miss that laila’
bakht zameen. says (6:33 PM):
then ill associate you with the ADP THAT WAS
Laila says (6:33 PM):
so i’ll be dead
Laila says (6:33 PM):
to
Laila says (6:33 PM):
to you
Laila says (6:33 PM):
basicallly
bakht zameen. says (6:33 PM):
no -_-
Laila says (6:33 PM):
-_-
Laila says (6:34 PM):
yes
Laila says (6:34 PM):
thats what you said
bakht zameen. says (6:34 PM):
youll be associated with THE ADP THAT WAS, fool
Laila says (6:34 PM):
not my fault. its what you said
bakht zameen. says (6:34 PM):
proove it
Laila says (6:34 PM):
bakht zameen. says (6:33 PM):
then ill associate you with the ADP THAT WAS
Laila says (6:34 PM):
see?
bakht zameen. says (6:35 PM):
yes so how does that imply that youll be dead to m
bakht zameen. says (6:35 PM):
e
Laila says (6:35 PM):
Laila says (6:34 PM):
bakht zameen. says (6:33 PM):
then ill associate you with the ADP THAT WAS
Laila says (6:35 PM):
seeeee?
Laila says (6:35 PM):
SEEEEEEEEEEEEE?
Laila says (6:36 PM):
SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!
bakht zameen. says (6:36 PM):
BUT IT IS ADP THAT WAS
bakht zameen. says (6:36 PM):
NOT YOU THAT WAS
bakht zameen. says (6:36 PM):
HOW IS ADP’S STATUS TRANSFERRED ONTO YOU, FOOL
Laila says (6:36 PM):
Laila says (6:35 PM):
Laila says (6:34 PM):
bakht zameen. says (6:33 PM):
then ill associate you with the ADP THAT WAS
Laila says (6:36 PM):
IM ASSOCIATEDWITHTHEM
Laila says (6:36 PM):
!
bakht zameen. says (6:36 PM):
AND IF THEY BREAK UP THEN YOUR ASSOCIATION WILL CHANGE
Laila says (6:37 PM):
Laila says (6:36 PM):
Laila says (6:35 PM):
Laila says (6:34 PM):
bakht zameen. says (6:33 PM):
then ill associate you with the ADP THAT WAS
bakht zameen. says (6:37 PM):
then you WILL be associated WITh the ADP that was
Laila says (6:37 PM):
OH
Laila says (6:37 PM):
OH
Laila says (6:37 PM):
i get it!
bakht zameen. says (6:37 PM):
URFF
Laila says (6:40 PM):
I’ll put this conversation on my blog

1. Put your music on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS

1) IS THIS OKAY?
Bad Moon Rising-CCR

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY?
American Jesus-Bad Religion

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Shakin-Eddie Money

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Whatever Gets You Through Today-The Radio

5) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Could I Be You-Matchbox 20

6) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
I Wanna Rock-Twisted Sister

7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone-Otis Redding (I’M NOT LYING, I SWEAR)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Fixing  A Hole- The Beatles

9) WHAT IS 2+2?
HallelujahHere She Comes-U2

10) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST-FRIEND?
Fortunate Son-CCR

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU REALLY LIKE?
A Good Start-Maria Taylor

12) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Day Tripper-The Beatles

13) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Live it Up- Bowling for Soup

14) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Holiday-Green Day

15) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
To Know Her is to Love Her- The Beatles

16) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
God Save the Queen- The Sex Pistols

17) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST

When Love Comes to Town-U2
18) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Secret-Maroon 5 ( I kid you not)

19) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
You Like Me Too Much- The Beatles

20) WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

20 Dollar Nose Bleed- FOB

21) WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Boulevard of Broken Dreams- Green Day

22) WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
El Tango De Roxanne- Ewan McGregor, Jose Feliciano and Jacek Koman

23) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Cold-Matchbox 20

24) HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Uptight- green day

25) WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
It’s a Hit- Rilo Kiley

26) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
It’s All Wrong But It’s Alright- Michael Johns (the love of my life ^^)

27) DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Please Please Me- The Beatles

28) WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Can’t Stop- Maroon 5

29) IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Don’t Leave Me- Green Day

30) WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
All Apologies- Nirvana

Sometimes blessings are thrust  into our lives, and its better not to question their origin, and just accept them; clearly, this is one of those times.

Yesterday evening, on my way to fetch water for guests, I noticed a mobile phone box lying on the dining table.  Not really paying attention to the model of the phone, I assumed it was empty and to be thrown, so I picked it up, with the intention of doing so. However, upon picking up this deceptively empty box, I realised that it was not, in fact, empty.Still not willing to accept the fact that it may actually be a phone, I opened the box to see what was in it, and was genuinely surprised to find a phone in the box.

I did a double take, and flipped back the top of the box to see what model it was, and found out that it was a Nokia E71. Recently I have done some research, and have discovered that Nokia E71’s are very, very sexy.

I went outside, to my mother and the guests. ‘Mama, why is there a brand new phone lying on the table?’ I ask my mother.

‘It must be Anjum Mamoo’s,’ she says.

‘Anjum Mamoo would bring a brand new completely packaged phone to our house?’

At which point, Anjum Mamoo asked us what we were talking about, and confirmed our suspicions that the phone was not his.

I eventually grew bored of this quest for  truth, and settled on asking my dad when he got home, but  lost interest and forgot.

Then, at about 10 pm, my dad walked into the bedroom (my parents room, being the hot hang out for the entire family has been titled ‘The Bedroom’, I suspect that this could soon become a hip and happening cafe.) and asked me ‘Laila, do you know where the cell phone on the dining table came from?’ I shook my head, and revealed to him the saga of my confusion when I discovered the phone, after a few witty exchanges regarding the phone, my dad stood up straight said…Oh….well I’ll just keep it.

Yesterday, I was very bored. So bored that I felt like doing something completely random and pointless. So I wrote on the blackboard.

Once there was a girl named Paul. Then she died of dumbness. THE END. Goodbye, Paul!

I even drew a picture of Paul.

Later on during the computer period, I was super bored, so my friend, who from here on be referred to as Sambi wrote a poem about Paul.

*Sambi’s parts.*

*My parts*

Naam hai mera Paul.

Ghar hai mera mall.

Uss mall mein hai ik hall,

Uss hall mein hai ik stall,

Aur banati hun mein uss mein salt,

Magar kar di kisse ne assault,

Namak ho gay phir khatam,

Jesay honay wala hai humara watan,

Ab banati hun mein cheenie,

Naam bhi badaldi, beenie.

Naam hai mera Beenie.

Banati hoon mein cheeni

We then wrote a poem about Jim. Jim is from our Literature book, his wife is Della, she has very soft hair, and they are bothe very poor. The rest of this poem is completely fictional and has no relevance to those of you who actually have lives.

Naam hai mera Jim,

Dog hai mera Tim,

Phone mein mera hai SIM,

Ghar peh hai meri Della,

Dalti hai baal mein Wella,

Kehti hai ‘I will change my name to Bella’,

Khati hai sirf roti,

Hoti kabhi nahin moti,

Ek din kharidoonga…chicken ki boti,

Hai meray paas hai magic pen,

Ghar ke bahar lion ka den,

Della poochti hai ‘bahar ghoomne jayenge when?’

Ghar mein pakati hai khana,

Nahane ke waqt gaati hai gana,

Kehti hai mujh se mujhe capray mat churwana.

They end. Go get a life.

1. At tuitions:

Your geometry is good. Let’s do algebra.

2. The *special* boy

Miss Soares: LAILA! What are you doing? She’s always day-dreaming! I don’t know who about, he must be a very special boy.

For the record, my thoughts were as follows:

Damn…a book for 60p? When was this textbook written? During the sixties or something, probably…What did Miss Soares look like during the sixties?

2. What students were like during the 1970s.

Miss Soares: Yesterday, Maha Faisal said to me *cue Brittish accent and lisp* ‘Miss, miss, why don’t you explain it to us til we understand?’ You know…a student said the same thing to me during the 1970s…You want me to do the same sum 10 times? Fine. You want to do your O levels in ten years rather than two? Fine. I could care less.

3. The character.

*I am especially giddy during this quotation for reasons unknown, and therefor am giggling at everything remotely amusing Miss Soares says*

Miss Soares: Laila, you’ve only given me 4 sums. If you’re only going to do four sums, don’t take down the fifth. If you’re going to do three sums, don’t take down the last two. *I am still giggling away* “I don’t want to do my O levels, I can’t be bothered.

Me: *laughing hysterically*

Miss Soares: *to girl sitting next to me; shakes head* What a character.

4. Independant woman

Me: Miss, you forgot the cap of your pen

Miss Soares: Forget the cap, I don’t need the cap.

5. The inevitable comparison of the Pathan sisters

Miss Soares: Why can’t you be more like Saadia? I like Saadia! She makes it her business to learn…But you…you just…flitter around…I’m sure at home you must be doing all the things Saadia hates. Am I right? ( I nod) I told you. Saadia is like Ayesha. They must be great friends, and you must be hanging around with that Naomi girl…

6. The Maha mentality.

Miss Soares: Now, this is a very long sum, it’ll be difficult to fit it all in one line, so you have to make your handwriting small, alright?

sometime later

Maha: Miss, I can’t fit it.

Miss Soares: Yes you can, you’ll make it your business to fit it. 38 other girls did, everyone except Maha; because Maha, she’s got her own way of thinking, she thinks, the bigger I am, the bigger I will right. Though…it’s the opposite with Laila, all of the letters, short. Have you seen her t’s? Her t’s and her o’s are the same height. Very strange.

7. Suspenseful mathematical methods

Miss Soares: LAILA! Come here, what are you doing?

Me: *puts book on Miss Soares desk*

Miss Soares: *lifts pen* there she is, making a mess, *looks at my book*…wait…this is correct. *pushes book back to me*…Alright, go on. I want to see what you do next. *turns to rest of the class* Let’s watch what she does next.

* I finish my sum*

Miss Soares: Correct. Gooooooooooooodd…verrryyyy gooooooooood.

*Rest of the class trips over their feet to show her their work, because they think that they will ALSO be praised*

Miss Soares: Get away from here! Why are you so excited! This is a C grade sum! You should be able to do it mentally.

8.

Miss Soares: Someone give me a pencil.

*Sixty percent of the class rushes to her desk*

Miss Soares: Now what is wrong with all of you? Don’t go jumping around like that! You’ll all fall on top of eachother.

9. Bouncy bouncy ^^

Miss Soares: Alright, who isn’t done?

Maha: Just Maryam and Laila

Miss Soares: Maryam Akhlaque? Normally she finishes her sums right away and comes bouncing to show her work…Very peculiar.

10. Maybe I’ve gone mad

Miss Soares: Saman?

Saman: Yes, Miss?

Miss Soares: What is this dy? What is dy supposed to mean? 9 dy? I don’t understand.

Saman: Miss, it’s days.

Miss Soares: Show me a book with days with a DY written in it. I’ve never seen one.  Maybe it is dy…maybe I’ve gone mad…

10.1. Maybe I’ve gone mad pt. II

‘Marium! Why are you sitting down? you’re punished! You should be standing! My god, bold as brass. She thinks she owns the school now…maybe she does…I wouldn’t know…Maybe I’ve gone mad…

Yesterday, I called SanaJ, her mum picked up. A very awkward, sad conversation ensued. damnnit.

Me: Sanaa sorahi hai, ya jaag rahi hai?
her: Dono

me: Kesaaay?

her: bas…

Me: Kesaaay?

her: Letiwi hai, magar so nahin rahi hai.

me: acha.

her: buri baat hai na? tum nida se dosti karlo, woh puri din jaagti rehti hai.

me: mein bhi karti hoon, subha mein meri behen mujhe uthati hai, magar mein kehti hun, nahin me sorahi hun, magar mein nahin sorahi hoti hun, is liyaye us ne mujhe jagaya hai. magar phir bhi, sanaa kuch pagal si hai.

her: Nahinn! buhaut pagal

me: to dosti humari esi hi to howi naaa , mein bhi pagal hoon.

her: haan, woh kiya kehtay hai negative positive?

me: minus aur minus plus ho jati hai

her: haaan.

me: magar hum dono maths se nafrat karte hai.

her: haan. magar maths achi hoti hai

me: nahin! kehtay hai ke real life mein useful hogi, magar real life mein calculator estamal hoti hai.

her: haan, ye tou sahin hai, aur kuch kaam mein zaroorat hi nahin parti hai. tum bari ho kar kiya bano gi?

me: journalist.

her: *disappointed tone* Sanaa ke jesay.

me: stand up comedy bhi!

her: ye to tumhare liyaye muskil nahin hogi. tum kaun kaun se comedians pasand karti ho?

me: aap saad haroon janti hain?

her: haan, woh jo sanaa tv peh dekhti rehti hai.

me: woh buhat acha hai.

her: acha? mein bhi dekhungi phir.

me: oh…*awkward.* mujhe ab khana khana hai.

her: acha, theek hai.

me: *not sure whether to hang up* khudafiz?

her: haan. jab tak tum khana khaogi, sanaa waapis ajaye gi. *hangs up*